Achieving balance in your soul

Joke: How many New Agers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

When you think of finding balance in your soul, chances are, you think of some fluffy New Age ceremony that involves sitting in the Lotus position and holding a crystal in each hand. My old knees won't even bend in that direction, which is a good thing because, after wrecking my Harley, one of them bent in every other direction. So, how many New Agers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just think happy happy thoughts into their crystals until they glow.

If you have spent any time in the New Age/quasi-neopagan portion of our community, chances are, you have been hugged so many times that you have almost forgotten your right to refuse such things. We have been fed so much white light that sometimes it is hard to enter a New Age bookstore without a pair of dark sunglasses. I once merchanted at a white light convention. After two days of white light, nothing would calm my nerves short of dark beer.

Balance is achieved by placing equal forces on both sides of a fulcrum. A 200-pound man cannot play seesaw with a child. Two men of equal weight cannot play if they sit on the same side of the seesaw.

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